Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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