So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
