i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
