"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
