your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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