Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
