So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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