just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
