So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
