i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
