dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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