I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
