I have demons in me.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
smell my finger.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
