I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
