Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He passed out mid-signature
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
