Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize