everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
