You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
