Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
