Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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