how can u be prego again
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
