My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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