I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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