these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize