Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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