So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
