I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
