They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
