Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
