I accidentally burped into my bong.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the day after is always just damage control
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
