sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
