It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
