I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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