The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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