I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
