marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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