I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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