before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
