u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
