Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
