He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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