'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
