I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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