I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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