i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
