I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
