I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
