At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Randomize