so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
