The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
