im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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