Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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