it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
