it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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