I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
