I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
